Disturbing the Universe.

takut sia sa alcohol, hehehe. walang kuryente kaya wala kaming magawa. siguro msyado masakit sa ilong niya un alcohol. don’t worry, di na namin uulitin. haha.

i don’t know if anyone would agree. but i’d rather be in a relationship with less love than a relationship with less trust.

for me, a relationship without trust is like a room with no ventilation. it’s hard to breathe. for me, it IS the backbone of a relationship.

say, you love him but you don’t trust him. you go gaga when he chats with someone over ym. you always have that urge to check his online accounts. for what? coz you are so damn afraid of what he’s doing when you’re not around. you love him, but you don’t trust him. (ohkay. that sounds…ummm…healthy?)

i always tell bob that if he breaks my trust, it’s gonna be hard to get it back. and i, too, try my best not to break his trust. i feel that when you do break trust, it is your choice, your own fault. and the least you could do is try to get it back… no matter how hard.

here’s some things i know about trying to get trust back…

If you’re the one BETRAYED..

the thing is, trying to get trust back really depends on how badly it was damaged. for some, the easiest thing to do is to cut their losses and end the relationship. and who could ever blame them?

give yourself some time to think if you still want to repair the relationship, and when you decide that it’s still possible to renew trust, remember that the process is a two-way street. while the trust breaker fights his/her way off to try to get the trust back, you too have an obligation.

Key words: Let it OUT, and then let it GO.

Face it, once your feelings are all out, you really need to let the incident go. But no, it doesn’t mean blind forgiveness . It’s not “Okay, I forgive you, past is past” then off you go.. la la la..

Accept the apologies and then NEVER rehash the incident. The more you do, the more it would bring back your anger and sadly my friend, it would just keep you in emotional limbo. And we… don’t want that.

Never take it as a weapon charge him/her every time you feel wronged in the future. Clearly, this is NOT moving on.

I think the key here is to not set your focus on what DAMAGED the relationship, but on HOW TO REPAIR the relationship.

I know it sounds as if you’re just giving the betrayer an easy time to recover everything, maybe it sounds a bit unfair. but if you think of it, the truth is… you’re helping yourself too… by allowing yourself to get hurt and move on with the process. (i have realized, too, that the more you keep yourself from feeling hurt, the more you get hurt in the process. grief and pain are feelings. don’t deny yourself from being human.)

==—==–==–==

Now, if you’re the trust BREAKER,

remember that you can never force another person to trust you back.

REPENT.

and then APOLOGIZE. ask him/her if she’s open for reconciliation.

Both sides have to want the trust back. it just can’t be yourself. or him. it’s got to be both of you.

now once he said he’s ready for it, you – as the breaker – CANNOT set the expectations nor give a time frame for earning that trust back.

(i.e. “What the hell? It’s been a month since I’ve tried. Why can’t you trust me still?!) tsk.

the thing is, it’s not how long you’ve tried, it’s what you DO to get it back. you have to show the other party that you are really serious in your attempt to fix the broken trust. you have to wait if you have to, be patient if you must. remember, you are trying to fix it.

review yourself. are you giving him/her reasons to trust you back? are you not repeating the same old mistake? say you want his trust back, but you keep on chatting with someone without telling him/her who it is. you keep hiding secrets. you can’t give them a bit of info on what’s going on with your life. (ohhkay.. so much for wanting to get trust back. yah, i see the effort).

Accept that you can never get it 100% back. Be thankful for the 75%. It’s still trust. The wise thing to do now is learn to value that trust and try not to do anything that may destroy it again in the future.

Trust is a gift. It’s so precious. Take it, be thankful.

Why am I sharing this? I’m no expert in this, I know.

But once in my life I’ve been betrayed too. And yes, somehow along the way, I’ve broken some other people’s trust too.

From my happy healthy heart to your soon-to-be happy bouncing heart,
I hope this helps.

*Edit*

P.S.
since you’ve read this far, why don’t you share your own experience. tell us a story. if you’ve been betrayed, how did you get over it? share some tips too. how do you regain back trust? we’d love to hear. I’D DEFINITELY LOVE TO.

quoted from my previous post,

Papa’s okay now. Thank God. I’m trying to force him to go home and stay with us here in Antipolo. I still have no luck in succeeding but I won’t quit. He’s been away for more than twenty years, I hope he realize that’s more than enough to be away from his children. God help me.

Finally.

Dad called up my sis to inform her that he wants to go home na. Thank God. Finally, after 20 long years, makakasama na namin siya dito sa Pinas.

This is superb. I can’t wait.

Some random updates:

• Papa’s okay now. Thank God. I’m trying to force him to go home and stay with us here in Antipolo. I still have no luck in succeeding but I won’t quit. He’s been away for more than twenty years, I hope he realize that’s more than enough to be away from his children. God help me.
• This blog is still “on the rocks”, starting with how it looks, all the way up to the owner on how she gets too lazy to update on a regular basis.
• Bob and I fought again. And I think it’s the worst fight we ever had. But finally, finally… I have unleashed my emotions and all that’s hidden. And you know what follows… (yah, we’re okay now.)
• I’m turning ** in a few weeks time. I took time to look at my post a year ago and I somehow laughed at myself for writing that.
• I’m getting fatter and fatter each day. I feel ugly. Yes I do. I can’t bear to look at my old pics coz it would just remind me of how skinny, (yes, skinny) i was back then and how morbid i’ve become in just a matter of months. Hey, no pun intended. I know you’d feel the same when you now buy size 31 jeans when used to buy size 26.
• I’m waiting for simplyelay.com to come back. I think I won’t be getting back all my past entries from that site, but hell it’s okay. I just want to go back to simplyelay.com for * sake.

Thanks for taking time to read… Ciao!

painful thirty minutes have passed and wala parin ako natatanggap na news mula kay mama at papa. di ko na alam gagawin ko. wala akong makausap. feeling ko mababaliw na ko dito sa pagaalala.

kanina tinawagan ko si papa para kamustahin siya, nagulat ako nun sinabi niya na nasa prisinto siya kasi nabangga daw siya. kaya pala ganun nalang yung urge ko para tawagan siya kanina. nagpanic ako, tinanong ko siya kung ok lang ba siya. di daw siya pinadoctor man lang, diniretso agad sila sa prisinto.

nasandwich daw ung sasakyan ni papa. nabangga siya sa likod tapos nabangga nya yung nasa harap niya. di niya dala yung iqama niya kaya daw siya ung biglang inimbestigahan ng mga pulis.

this has happened before. nagflaflashback sakin yung naaksidente si papa nuon dun. mas masakit ngayon kasi wala akong magawa kundi maghintay sa news. wala akong magawa kundi ipagdasal ang kalagayan nya at maghingi ng prayers mula sa ibang tao.

shit.